I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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