After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
