and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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