My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
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I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Shame - the story of my life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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