Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
