Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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