I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
