You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
