Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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