Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
