Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
