just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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