Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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