I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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