There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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