So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
