You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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