just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
