Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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