The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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