My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize