Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
