when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
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If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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