I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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