Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
