I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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