ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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