I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
