I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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