omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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