How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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