is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
