it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
