i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize