the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
