just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
