I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
