Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize