Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
