This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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