I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
