woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
