OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
