I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
