just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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