Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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