Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
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And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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