brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
