Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
