Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
