i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm getting married
To pizza
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
