ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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