I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
