If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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