what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
