don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
