My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize