im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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