The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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