I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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