I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
