talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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