ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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