well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
