i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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