8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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